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Sunday Night Sensations #2

Tonight's topic is Imposter Syndrome. 

What is it really? Where is it rooted? What triggers it?

Wikipedia defines Imposter Syndrome as "Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I believe this syndrome exposes itself in times of change, or a role shift. A new job, a promotion, getting something you have wanted for the longest time, winning an award, and so on. Role shifts cause some of the highest forms of anxiety for people. 

I have struggled with this for years and I am very open about it. Recently, I have been given a job opportunity that has caused much anxiety for me. Sometimes I don't think I am the most qualified, or experienced. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts. and Sometimes I get overwhelmed. At my core, I know I can do this. I have the passion, drive, and perseverance to do anything, but my confidence gets rocked easily. 

Why am I talking about this? Well...

I started reading "Educating the reflective practitioner" for my MA program. Within the first few pages, it talks about "how do we as practicing professional prepare, learn, and educate ourselves and our students for the future? We can teach skills, give them tools, and advice, but over all, until you are out really doing it and able to reflect on experiences, we can't always pre pare our students for everything. 

The book talks about how people from different backgrounds and different experience levels view things differently. Each teacher and each student is going to have a different perspective on their chosen field. 

How does Imposter Syndrome play into this? Well...

As a practicing Professional reflecting on my own past experiences and studies, I realize I have my own personal views and perspective on Dance and how I arrive to teach it. This however does not take away my imposter syndrome from creeping in. Recently I had another teacher come in and sub one of my dance classes. The students loved this teacher and had a great time. This left me feeling vulnerable and unqualified. What if I am not good enough? What if I am not arming my students with the best possible classes they need to go off into the real world as artists and performers in theatre? 

As a reaction to this, I listened to one of my favorite pod casts. "The Dance Coach Podcast" hosted by Chris Hale. In his podcast he talks about mental health in the dance field. He speaks about imposter syndrome and how many dane teachers suffer from this, BUT this does not take away your specific background, qualifications, and experiences that make you special. Each person shows up differently. We are all role models for our students. If you can reach student, you can hopefully (one day) reach them all. 

I am learning I have my own set of skills and experiences that I can bring to the table! I am also learning I have my place to be in my MA program 

Long story short, I am learning to deal with the things I struggle with, and all my thoughts haven't fully formed yet, but this is where I am at on a lovely Sunday evening.

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