Skip to main content

Sunday Night Sensations #2

Tonight's topic is Imposter Syndrome. 

What is it really? Where is it rooted? What triggers it?

Wikipedia defines Imposter Syndrome as "Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I believe this syndrome exposes itself in times of change, or a role shift. A new job, a promotion, getting something you have wanted for the longest time, winning an award, and so on. Role shifts cause some of the highest forms of anxiety for people. 

I have struggled with this for years and I am very open about it. Recently, I have been given a job opportunity that has caused much anxiety for me. Sometimes I don't think I am the most qualified, or experienced. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts. and Sometimes I get overwhelmed. At my core, I know I can do this. I have the passion, drive, and perseverance to do anything, but my confidence gets rocked easily. 

Why am I talking about this? Well...

I started reading "Educating the reflective practitioner" for my MA program. Within the first few pages, it talks about "how do we as practicing professional prepare, learn, and educate ourselves and our students for the future? We can teach skills, give them tools, and advice, but over all, until you are out really doing it and able to reflect on experiences, we can't always pre pare our students for everything. 

The book talks about how people from different backgrounds and different experience levels view things differently. Each teacher and each student is going to have a different perspective on their chosen field. 

How does Imposter Syndrome play into this? Well...

As a practicing Professional reflecting on my own past experiences and studies, I realize I have my own personal views and perspective on Dance and how I arrive to teach it. This however does not take away my imposter syndrome from creeping in. Recently I had another teacher come in and sub one of my dance classes. The students loved this teacher and had a great time. This left me feeling vulnerable and unqualified. What if I am not good enough? What if I am not arming my students with the best possible classes they need to go off into the real world as artists and performers in theatre? 

As a reaction to this, I listened to one of my favorite pod casts. "The Dance Coach Podcast" hosted by Chris Hale. In his podcast he talks about mental health in the dance field. He speaks about imposter syndrome and how many dane teachers suffer from this, BUT this does not take away your specific background, qualifications, and experiences that make you special. Each person shows up differently. We are all role models for our students. If you can reach student, you can hopefully (one day) reach them all. 

I am learning I have my own set of skills and experiences that I can bring to the table! I am also learning I have my place to be in my MA program 

Long story short, I am learning to deal with the things I struggle with, and all my thoughts haven't fully formed yet, but this is where I am at on a lovely Sunday evening.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Theatre gave me the confidence I needed to believe in myself even when I did not.

  ‘Theatre made me feel like I had a place, purpose, and a future. Theatre gave me the confidence I needed to believe in myself even when I did not.’ If you allow me to elaborate on my above quoted statement. I was diagnosed with a learning disability at age six. This disability did not come with a name or title like some. I was left thinking to myself ‘What is going on? I am dumb. I am stupid. Why am I so slow?’ I had lots of trouble keeping up in my reading and math classes. I remember friends of mine reading complete Dr Seuss books, while I was still trying to formulate how to read sentences. This was a very difficult time for me as a child. My teachers and I could not figure out what would help me. I was thus thrusted into the resource room, a room for children with learning differences. While I had lovely teachers, and I made lots of friends, I was sad and lonely on the inside. I wanted to learn like a ‘normal’ kid. I’d stare out the window of the classroom thinking “the only ...
1 comment
Read more

Sunday Night Sensations

 Well hello there! This is my first ever blog post. Thank you for joining me on this journey! As part of my MA program, we are encouraged to create blog posts talking about our ideas, thoughts, theories, experience, learning, and sensations surrounding our professional practice in Dance and The Arts. We are encouraged to "find our voice" within the arts community, and I am so excited to dive in.  I have decided to create a Blog thread titled "Sunday Night Sensations." This thread will hold me accountable to sum up my weekly thoughts in this blog. I may post in between, but this is mainly for me to get my thoughts out and start a discussion around dance and the arts every week. I apologize in advance for many run on sentences.. and stream of conciseness thoughts!  I have so many ideas and thoughts circling around my brain... So many things I want to talk about... BUT, I thought I would start with something simple. Something as simple as a sensation. I decided to call...
Post a Comment
Read more